Jewish Mother Friends

A while back, when I was complaining about a high-maintenance friend of mine, the term "jewish mother friend" was coined by a good work/friend of mine.

We both have one - and I'm sure many others do. You know who they are....the annoying friends that are your age that act like your mother and have the jewish edge to boot. My friend and I - who both aren't jewish - somehow get drawn into the web of these types of friends.

I don't know what it is - maybe it's the familiarity...I mean, come on, jewish can be substituted for any other ethnicity out there, and then you add the mother component and you somehow feel drawn to them - as a way to reconcile your mother relationship issues.

They are very intense and yearn to be connected to you....and they really do mean well. It's just that they take it up a notch, and then another notch, and then next thing you know there is no way to get yourself detangled from them.

When I first was dealing with my friend's intensity, I was really caught off guard. Primarily because I had let her get away with so much, that when it came to the final straw - it was so obvious I had to get out - that I did....and did so not as gracefully as I would've wanted. But, nonetheless, I got my point across and got the hell out of there.

But, even though we're not that great a friends anymore. And she's certifiably a wacko jewish mother friend, she still pulls at my heartstrings....much like my own mom does. I can't help myself to give this woman the benefit of the doubt - and I try not to get sucked in. but i do.

The latest was when I inadvertantly found out that her oldest, a sweetie pie 8 year old, had had to be rushed into surgery for a ruptured appendix. I have a history with hospitals because of my own daughter, as well as a history of chaotic tragicness with the death of my friends daughter, so the whole PTSD kicked in big time....and I was drawn to helping her out, reaching out as much as I could. Even though we are undeniably not close anymore and she, in particular, is over me.

Nonetheless, in this time of raw pain and humanity....the truth did show through. I was genuinely concerned and she genuinely accepted my concern.

All is fine with her daughter now, and we will go back into our normal patterns....and I'll go back to wanting to avoid her...and she'll turn back into my jewish mother friend.